This article on parents.com caught my attention, especially on a day like today, when I am about to leave home for a work conference and leave behind my 15 months old for the first time. Not only is it the first time I’m traveling for work since I’ve had my little angel, but the first time I’ve left her overnight. Anxiety kicked in since last night while I finished packing up my luggage. Several times I looked around my bedroom and told my husband I felt like I was forgetting something. He just smiled at me and reassured me that I was fine, my list was all checked off, and I should try to get some sleep so I was well rested.
Finding the work/family balance was easy for me. I was back to work in no time and juggling life, work, the hubby, and new baby with ease. Leaving the baby at the babysitter was no big deal either, they are my family after all and I have peace of mind knowing that they take excellent care of her just like they did with me when I was younger. She does a happy dance when I drop her off and runs into my grandma’s arms every morning. I leave to work worry free; she is in great hands and there is nothing for me to worry about.
Turns out the feeling that I’ve forgotten something has gotten worse as the morning has progressed. I have this heavy weight on my chest and every now and then I find myself taking unnecessarily long breaths. I cried a little on the way to work. My husband drove me and held my hand, in silent company, the whole way. Leaving the state for three nights has me jittery and wanting to run to the bathroom to splash my face with water. I remind myself that my career is a part of me and I can do this. My husband is more than capable of taking care of her for a few nights without my support. Nevertheless, at times like these I honestly wish I was able to split myself in half so I was able to go on my work trip as well as stay with my family. 🙂
Thanks to my amazing-superdaddy-husband I am able to leave my little family behind for a few days and do something for my career.